Is it so difficult to be happy? Sometimes it seems like the world is plotting against us to keep us in gloom, at others, we hatch imaginary plots in our head that give us a headache.... Happiness is such an elusive quality, it does seem like there's no catching it or keeping it. But is it really so hard to hold a little glow in your heart?
I have been on an experiment of sorts, an experiment to see if I can get out of the rut of being a crib often-cry often-rant often person to a laugh more-smile more-spread cheer kind of person. It seems to be working so far. Should I touch wood? It's a pleasant superstition indeed but I won't because I have recently figured out that all it takes is faith and willpower.
Faith in God, in yourself and in fellow human beings and a will made of, if not iron, at least something not too pliable. And I can proudly say 'I chose to'. I chose to be happy. I chose to work harder. I chose to laugh more. I chose to let go of the things that don't really matter. I chose to hold on tight to all that does. I chose to love my dear ones better in a manner they liked (the book Personality Plus helps). I chose to stop cribbing and start doing my bit. I chose to take my circumstances and turn them around. I chose to do it on my own terms, adjusted to fit in with family ideals and needs. I chose not to hold grudges. I chose to be more forgiving, to others and to myself. I chose to spend some alone time with 'me'. I chose to keep the relationships that mattered. And not worry not too much about those that didn't.
Nothing happened overnight. It is still a struggle each day. Following this path is easier said than done; it takes a conscious living of each moment. But it is all worth it. I see Abhi and Ditu smiling more, I see myself scowling less, I see myself lazing less and doing more and still finding time for myself (something I earlier thought was a contradiction in itself). I have realised that graceful self-denial is not all that bad sometimes.
I haven't become a saint of sorts. I still have my weaknesses and my vices. But I am more tolerant of it all now. I have accepted my lot and am making the best of it. And it's given me the best excuse to put my every moment to good use! I feel like I am in a McDonald ad.... I'm lovin' it!