Nearly there... five months

Good Morning!

Little Diya is such a bundle of joy; I am actually enjoying the pleasures of laid-back mothering this time around. There's so much to be thankful for now that I feel such a need to just sit down and connect with the Almighty.

Let me count my blessings:

1. It's 18 years this day to the official start of our Love Story. And I think we have gone through all the phases--from giggly romance to the can't-keep-my-hands-off-you stage to side-by-side best-buddies co-existence. Right now, we are at this stage where we kind of take the other for granted, in a nice way, give each other the space we need and yet manage to keep the spark going strong .
2. Diya is nearly 5 months old; she is a healthy, calm child who has taken to eating her solids like a pro. Starting on idlis today, after four days of pureed rice. :)PS: Love her hearty laughs!
3. Ditu is doing so well at school, asking questions, understanding the world she interacts with and more. And she takes such care of the little one, even if she inadvertently slips into horseplay at times. I wish I could be a kinder mother to her, but it's difficult. I guess, firstborns get this penchant for perfection from being yelled at relentlessly by their mothers. Dear God, I don't want to end up as the nastiest chapter in her memoir even though she tells me now, "I will never hate you Mumma. Sometimes I get angry but it's not at you. I LOVE you!" Okay, let's just wait for teenage to set in, which, I hear, starts at 10 these days!
4. My sister! I am always thankful for her: she's my sanity at times, even though I tend to forget that, between minding my chores and telling her how to live her life. I hope she will find true happiness in her heart. And I'm guessing our parents staying with her for a few months is bound to put a smile on that pretty face.
5. Friends... loads and loads of them. I am thankful for each one of my buddies. From the ones who help me manage a harried day by sending me a home-cooked dish to the ones who make me smile by 'Liking' my photos on FB, I am thankful for each one of you.
6. Good health, and I am saying this despite my bad cold and sprained back.

I used to keep an online journal on Penzu while I was pregnant. And boy, am I glad I did! The account sends me random entries from the diary once in a while and just today, I read up on some funny-crazy dreams I had when I was pregnant with Diya. I am glad those dreams did not just slip into oblivion. Writing my new entry in the journal today prompted me to blog as well. So hola everyone! Hope to be back soon! 

Will I deliver already?

In the last few weeks of my second pregnancy... and I am stuck between feeling anxious, impatient and restless. Of course, things are a whole lot different than when I had my daughter six and half years ago. For one thing, there are more aches, pains and discomfort than I remember from back then. (And yes, I have heard all variations of the joke that it's only because I'm way older now.) Perhaps I can blame part of that on a faulty memory that seems to have packed off on vacation since around the second trimester! But one thing I do know... and that is, despite all the pregnancy-related problems (symptoms, if you prefer), I had gone to work almost till the end of my first pregnancy. This time, I am officially on rest since the middle of last month; not to speak of having had to stop going to office months earlier!

Courtesy: www.glasbergen.com

And this time around, there is also the added pressure (at least in my mind) of having to get it all right this time! The first time, I struggled with breastfeeding despite my resolve to do so exclusively. My lil' one, though, had her own plans, which, needless to say, were the polar opposite of mine. Yes, yes, I hear ye all-natural moms who are so ready to point a finger at us moms who weren't able to exclusively breastfeed, as well as those who may not necessarily have breastfed their own but heartily subscribe to it when it concerns others. Believe me, I have no time for such people... And no, I don't intend to justify myself to their ilk.

However, my concerns tend towards my own ideals of motherhood, which are lofty, to say the least. The higher the standards you set for yourself, the bigger the disappointment if you can't make them, especially when you are sleep-deprived, tired and going-a-lil-loony in the process. Still, I am determined to slog ahead, with the wisdom that it's ok if I fail; maybe I won't beat myself up as much as last time. One new thing I plan to try out this time round is to rely mostly on cloth diapers. May the Good Lord grant me oodles of patience!

Whatever happened to romance?

That's perhaps one of the foremost questions on our minds once we get married, I suppose. We hear it from friends who have been married a while, relatives who frown at the idea of wasting time on romance after marriage and generally, the world and its mother!! Soon, you begin to hear it from your mouth... Is that really you yelling at your husband about promises not kept, candlelit dinners expected and not delivered and horror of horrors, are you really using your old love letters as evidence of once-passionate love?
If you are, I'd advice you (in the lyrics of a highly popular Bollywood disco number) to 'just chill'. The love, the passion, the romance, it's all there, perhaps simmering under the surface, perhaps hidden deeper but the love you shared endures. Love doesn't just disappear; marriage therapists say you gotta work at it. But who's got the time? Ah, there's the catch... that elusive quantity.
But sometimes, life gives you breaks and you have to hold on tight and make the best of it. My parents have taken my daughter home with them for a week (she'll be back on Wednesday), to help me out with a particularly deadline-filled period. And I did a lot of catching up with work and a little bit with hubby, doing some things out of the ordinary that we wouldn't have done with a sleeping two-year-old at home: like taking a late-night drive just to check out a new railway line that cuts across a bridge and then stopping at my favourite cafe for some absolutely sinful dessert! But it was on Sunday that spontaneity really kicked in (something I always accuse Abhi of not doing: spur-of-the-moment things). We borrowed a friend's motorbike and took off to a beach some kilometres away. Now, I am the beach person (as in wallow-in-the-water type) and Abhi's more of the sit-by-the-shore-far-away-from-the-spray kind. But we had fun. On our way back, it began to rain. Abhi asked me whether I wanted him to stop, I said 'no' and boy, did we have a lovely, drenchy ride in the rain. It was beautiful and soooooo romance-inducing. Or was that romance? I don't know; suffice it to say that we felt a tenderness for each other that we didn't have time for in the busyness of everyday life. The rest of the evening was, to say the least, great...
So people, take a break. You are doing enough for others; make a little time for yourself. Even the simplest of things is enough to rekindle love.
Have fun.