Love, and a lot of gratitude

Pic courtesy: Ambili

There's a lot more to togetherness than just being together and touch wood, I am one of those blessed folks who enjoy togetherness, of the extra-nice kind.


Having known Abhi for close to 18 years (eeks!) now and having been in love with him for 17 of them (*smug smile, interspersed with a little awe at the number*), I'd probably be qualified to say I know Abhi like the back of my hand. But you know how people are, constantly evolving even though we so love to resist change!


Over the years, I have seen Abhi go from an angry-at-the-push-of-a-button (any button) adolescent to a man who can control his anger (in a very nuclear-weapon fashion, as in beware when it's switched on and directed at you). Jokes apart, he's a rock, and a good one at that... 'cos if he were the rock that absolutely refused to budge, impulsive me would have had serious problems. But he's the kind of rock that rolls (I couldn't resist that guys, sorry!) when necessary and that makes him a wonderful, best-friend-and-support kind of rock.


And while I don't see eye-to-eye with him on hundreds of things, it's surprising how we -- of the big egos -- often set egos aside to let the other win. Arguments, after the initial passionate-anger-filled phase, are often not allowed to fester in the 'I trumped you' stage. And that's one thing I like about our marriage.

And why am I analysing our marriage today? Cos we are close to a very special anniversary, the first birthday of DropCap Media, which started out as a thought in our living room in what seems now like ages ago. From that day on, Abhi has been a rock not just for me but for my firm as well, pitching in with money, equipment, advice and err... financial disciplining (which falls in one of those aforementioned don't-see-eye-to-eye categories). 


Not once, even during the first few days of struggle when our direction seemed lost in a fog of indecision, did he express any doubt in DropCap's ability to survive and succeed. Of course, we have had our fair share of arguments on management style, capital expenses and other blah-matters associated with running a firm, but when it comes to the big picture, Abhi has always been sure of DropCap doing well. He always treats it -- our success -- as an inevitability, and so doesn't get all excited like I do when we clinch a major deal!!


When I wrote a post on the official blog about our BIG day, I could have mentioned Abhi in a line, I suppose, but I didn't. For two reasons: one, a line just wouldn't do; and two, he's too much a part of my heart for me to pour it all out into what, I feel, is a professional space.


So this is a gratitude post just for him though he's unlikely to read this unless I send him a link. Lemme just go do that right away! :)

Momma thinks...

I know, I know, I shouldn't be here right now, blogging in the middle of a work day. But, I promise this is gonna take just 15 minutes and then, over and out!

Today is an official 'Day of Cribbing', a day--which, incidentally, comes by way too often for my liking--when I'm allowed to rant and rave, and generally put on a don't-even-think-of-striking-up-a-conversation kind-of face and be moody all day long. No, it isn't PMS; just one of those days when the maid has gone AWOL.

But I am not taking precious minutes off work to write an anti-maid rant. In my new, 'improved' avatar, I have already learnt to take such inevitabilities in my stride.

Pic courtesy: indyeahforever.wordpress.com

This is on another tangent altogether: I was running late to pick my daughter (her school bus drop-off point is about a half-km away from my apartment) and on the way, the usual thoughts popped into my head: 'Why is it that women always have to take the brunt of domestic emergencies? Shouldn't both parents have equal responsibilities?' and blah, blah, blah... a rather needy voice in my head kept going on and on. Mind you, I don't even have serious reason to complain; Abhi is more often than not ready to pitch in with Ditu-related details.

But my mind--unruly as usual--was off on its own sweet (sweet? nah!) track! And then it struck me: don't brace yourselves or anything-- nothing earth-shattering here...

Just realised that if God (or Nature, if you prefer) chose the woman to carry babies within her, there is definitely something special about her, right? Something more than special, I think, something that is both a wonderful blessing and an overwhelming responsibility. I don't need centuries-old conditioning or unwritten rules of society to tell me to always be there for my daughter, to nurture her, protect her, help her grow into a sensible and caring human being.

And by that same count, I believe God has put something extra, something mysterious by nature, in every woman: an impulse to love that bit more; that instinct to keep your child safe no matter what the circumstances; to keep giving a little bit of yourself even when you feel like you just can't, any more; the strength to love selflessly and then let the light of your life choose a path of her own, a path which in all probability leads away from you; and a kind of patience that beats definition.

And by that count, what does a little bit of extra duty matter?